My heart-breaking story

I been as usual away of this.. and i figure it out i write every 10 days :S that means something? well im not sure so lets catch up!

From the last 10 days i become a heartless person.. I becomee mean.
I just say things how come out of my mind. Like early yesterday I insult my little sister and call her a bitch I never insult her. I told a person i used to care about without feeling sorry for her that a boy is playing with her and maybe she deserve it. I told my brother love of his life to give up on him.
I told my mom early today that she should go and sleep in a hotel because this is my house and it works down my rules!

I only apologize to the last person and talked with my mom why i was so selfish and idiot this days not that I know but it was good just to talk with her. She is a smart women.

Im working on songs now, but at the moment my fingers and guitar are not getting along. So i tho i blog a bit.

I wrote the lyrics for a song in 3min thats probably because I had a lot going on in my mind.. show it to some friends they loved it and cant wait to hear it.

I try to cover King of Leon - Manhattan. But i figure out I just had one good luck song with them and was use somebody. Because after that i fall in love with the band and when that happend i totally SUCK covering them. Probably why I do not cover the Rolling Stones.

AND i need a song because I have to send a cd to EMI ... Because this agent looked up for me since i play 3 gigs in a row in a pub but he didnt catch me up to ask my mobile till I walked to the pub one hour ago. He said I have till friday for it that means I have one day and couple of hours. wish me luck.. i promise to mention you all or at least my blog if i get to be one day somebody.

Apart of that a canadian magazine interview me and my friends.. "my band" since me and my friends met to make music.. We r not a band we dnt know what we are we r friends that hang out and do things and one of those is music is all we know. The interview was fun. It was for new "bands" style and stuff and my style is very oldish/indie/rockish since I fallow the real music where the melody was important not a bunch of nasty sounds, but then again i feel very into indie such as the Killers - KOL so on.. and rockish because thats how i roll.

Next month or in 2 weeks actually I have a snowboarding competition.. where Im going to be using Hurley name so lets see how that go.

My mom came for my best friend wedding witch is the 26 of this month.. the civil wedding at least.. the big one is next year on march. My sister is coming on sunday and my dad on monday. same as her family is getting here tomorrow.

My sister best male friend is my best friend (Girl) fiance, my sister knows him because he is a model.. and worked with her.. he is 22yrs old my sister is 19.. but they matched from the first time.. once i tho they would end up together.. because they just acted like couple but was just her friend always been after they become rly close she introduce him to my best friend witch is my ex and as disgusting it sounds i think is more like my sister.. yes i dated her for 8months or smth.. she is the girl next door and the best friend i mean i always tho i will end with her because we have just one perfect relationship but i guess thats stuck in one perfect friendship because kissing her was rly strange.. the sex part was great haha but i guess my real sister felt that way with his friend.. well they met they fall in love and they gonna marry been together for 3yrs, we know him for 4yrs and they look gorgeous and perfect together! Im really happy for her.. AND SHE IS WAITING A BABY! He propose 6months ago.. and my best friend have 6weeks pregnant now she didnt wish for it and all she is thinking is that she gonna look fat on her wedding dress but well.

So thats pretty much how my 10 days away of this r going... oh forgot.

I had my aniversary on the 13th. 4yrs and 9months with my girlfriend. (we count the last time we got together and this one) but it actually should be only 9 months is what we have. or a year actually because we been hooking up for over a year and a month.

thats all
have a lovely end of the week and weekend
cheers

Wow I suck at this!! Probably the excuse is that i been in the real world for to long now.

I miss my family. I mean I have my brother here with me, but I want all my family in the same place all the days.. I miss the screams of my mom and my dad making me do things I normally would tell other people to do.. I guess is normally sis xmas is getting close to feel this way right?
My little sister start a new relationship (not surprised at all) lets see how much this one will least.. seems like everytime she change of country she find a new guy to spend the time with.. She was here in Los Angeles.. she dated a guy and the guy travel to Liverpool was with her then well he had to come back and broke up.. She moved to Australia to the start of the year she date a new guy.. he travel with the family this summer and she bringed him here to LA and Liverpool home, she moved again to Norway now and break up tho the guy is at Sweeden like 3hours away or smth they could work it out but seems that dont work for her. Now she been there for two weeks and 3 days i think and 2 days ago the new guy asked her to be with him. She is happy I forgot how happy she can be and it surprise me but im worry it all would end the same she is 19 and is ok she wants to have fun date and hang out.. but she should start thinking about smth serious not to marry of course!! but so she knows whats a serious relationship like and take some responsabilty.. I think this one would work out better since the guy she is dating now is moving to the UK one week later she is back at the UK so lets see how this one ends... as far i know im really glad she is happy since i love to see her smile.

My brother is the same thing nothing change or move with him.. that is really depressing.

On the other hand im good.. I get surprised often by things.. like i just did 5min ago.. how people didnt trust me before and i dont care lol if they do or not i dont mind =) but it give me some thinking and i think is time to give it a break im able now of not depending in anyone and i love that.. now is xmas getting close and my family and relationship is all that matters to me incluiding my 5 close friends that are my new years people.

Next year i want to make it different.. all fresh start, i dont want to look back to the past two years were msn was part of my life i mean i like it but i dont think it makes me any good now and i will miss yes and i wont get lost because im not the kind of person that do that but the long waits and the long time staying on will be going away. Normally im on because of talking to my european friends or my sister.. but this days i figure out that they call me to get on or email me or tell me the hour they will be on so i dont have to wait and i like it that way. Next year will be brand new. I going to enjoy it as much as i can.. I dont want to have people in my life that really dont matters or that once thinked I didnt was the person they trust no matter the face or the way i look but the person they fall for or they love to talk, that person got lost in the days i got tired of beging the good guy i never was a good guy even worst a good friend! thats probably why i only have 5 friends and many other i go out drinking pals, but i changed to make people happy and i was happy and i liked that person.. but i cant forget when one of those persons that matter the most didnt want to talk to me anymore and create a huge story i cant forget that because i neved did any bad to her.. So now that im "real" that u see or got told that i was walking and standing looking is all good again.. not. It wont be the same because im not the same towards you no more, i care about you i want you happy and the best to you but im not the best and you showed me that the moment you blocked me of your life and because i need you dont mean you need me back u just like the fact i will be around.. you all do. you all like to know daniel would be there to cheer me up.. but r u there to cheer me up? u didnt was there when i needed you but im here when u need me? no good. is time to write a new book and close that last one.. is time to start a new story.

And be happy because most of my days are good.

Tomorrow is one of the most important days of my life. Tomorrow i start a surf competition here in San Diego tomorrow can be start of many good days doing something i know im good at! and im not nervous at all witch is great! I have to take it easy tonight so im going to chill at my friend house with my girl and family wishing my mom,dad and sister could be here to watch me make it because i know i will when you are positive about something it always go the way you want it! I need to make it between the 3first places and hurley will be on my board! And if im lucky enough they will take me on a trip up somewhere in mountains to try how i work out with my snowboard witch is much better for me!

After so long I been waiting for this im 22 years old and when i was 15 i could make it not in surfing or snowboarding but skating but i gived up i dont regret doing it i just wished the time was different but now i have it again, the oportunity to become what i always wanted to pro board! And if i didnt make it at least i knew i try it and that would make it good because if this door close other will open.

Im surprised in such a good moon i am atm. i guess because the end of my night yesterday was pretty much wicked. today i start like someone new totally fresh. and is not only with me, my sister did too i guess today is a good day for the memembers of my family at least 4 of 5 my brother is the problem. I wish he could be happy. He is handsome i mean not becuase is my brother (But that help lol) but he is a model, he have a body that girls will die for, he light brown hair with green eyes talk healthy smart and someone fun to be around but WHY is he not with someone? thats easy he is not over his ex. witch sucks i mean i like her i wish the will be together always and she be part of my family but thats smth i think wont happend i mean dont get me wrong.. is jsut that relationship will turn a little bit too selfish.. both love each other but ONE have to give up everything to be with the other sucks right? my brother have a brilliant future looking up for him, his modeling he is doing comercials, picturers runway he is doing music aswell and he controls the family company giving up all that is what make him the person he is so why giving up many things that make him be interesting and happy? i mean of course she make him much much much happy but what if at the ends dont work what if he gived up everything get his heart broke and have to start all over again? i mean is a selfish game he is playing now.. and i just want him happy. I want to see him smile all the time i miss that i miss see him going out and getting late and stuff. I wish both figure out what they gonna do because i think they by now know wont be a future between them. PLUS i know you read this (to my bro ex) ure beautiful smart and lovely go out there find someone STOP beging so selective and caring that ure leaving soon or any those things go and get a shot to be happy have fun go out stop caring to much i mean ure losing the fun of beging younge (that make me feel old) but yes ure missing the fun of be the last year of school the fun of the high school partys and stuffs ppl do where u live.

My sister is happy REALLY happy and i love that, she found out someone she likes because the way she look at him says it all and she was dating this other guy they just ended yesterday and she is already hanging out with other guy she knows for 2 weeks her ex is doing pretty much the same.. now is a bit bitter between both of them her ex and she but it will figure out they both now were always mean to be great friends because they always looked like that.. but now with this guy.. she is laughing all day long it been over a year from the last time she was smiling like that and im glad VERY glad she found one. I love you little sister.

Now Im going to get a new surf table =)) not that i need one but is the fun of be part of competitions =)
wish me luck

cheers

Hello! Halloween is getting close.. and today i had a halloween bbq was very nice =) i dressed up like an angel and my girlfriend like the devil (we changed places) it was very good tho.

Apart of that I went to the doctor yesterday so they can look up my foot seems like they think is progressing. Thats a really good thing since on saturday ill be on my way to San Diego CA to a surf competition and i need to make it good.

Apart of that i saw other doctor to talk about my feelings i think i need medical care haha but the doctor told me what i already knew so is kind of not like a big deal but was good to have the 20min chat with her she was a hot doctor.

I talked about friends, family and exs
She said that im very into my family opinion in what my future is and even make them control my desitions well is kind of true, mom and dad gived me to much to pull them apart, yes i can make my destions but the doc was talking mostly about girlfriend desitions that i listen to much what my mom think is good or bad, and HEY moms are always right i learned that.. and thank you mom.
Im not a mammas boy thats probably my brother but i do listen a lot of what she thinks of the people im dating with since she know me better than anyone and will know whats good for me or not, not all the time tho she make mistakes aswell but mostly of them are small.

Ffriends subject went really good the doc said i give to much to them and sometimes i dont get anything back and i already knew that aswell so is not point of make it an important subject here right? Friends come and go and i always thinked the right was girls go and come friends stay forever.. a new remark to my forever qoute that everything that starts in forever ends is for. My closest friends are still pretty much around witch are 6 and i love that are my guys next door and my girl next door so i love it the others are in other state and other countrys but no matter the time diference we still pretty much in touch every day witch is great.

Exs subjects was the most interesting one since i have a girlfriend that should be my subject but the doc think my relationship with her is not based in pain or jealousy is based in trust and that i should be really lucky to have her because looks like she is what any guy could wish in a girl, get a long with friends your parents love them she is beautiful and smart and always find a way to cheer me up. I know she is great. But she didnt was my subject the rest of the time.. my ex was.

The doc said that im pretty much over her and that putted me in a good mood but then i thinked how she would know she is not inside me or know my feelings but then again she study that so probably she should know right? She said aswell that i need to know that she is good since i get along with all my exs except her is making it hard for me because im used to talk to them once in a while look if they need something or if they need someone to talk with, all of my past relationships/hooks up know with who i am and i know normally what r they upto and we get a good long great but not with my last ex. We dont talk at ALL. And im happy that way since im pretty much in a bad mood when i know anything about her but thats probably because of what i said before. The fun part is that my brother said to me like 5min ago that if me and my ex are like twins or connected or any crap and i was confused and well he said is nothing but im to curious so i make him tell he said well you guys seem like are always listening to the same thing in the same time or at least feel the same and i said i wouldnt know since i dont know her anymore.

Her name (my ex) is not allowed in my house, my life or my mind 98% of the time. the 2% is when i get worry if she is good, but she thinks im not exist why should i think she do right? well i know is when u guys know is something inside of you that feeling that says u know what she is thinking by just looking a picture or by the thinks she write and stuff well i got that. I know she dont smile like before and I know that because i know her better than anyone.. I WAS the kind of guy that knew everything she was feeling by just looking at her and she didnt need to talk i knew she had over 7 different types of smile and 2 of them were fake and i knew aswell when she laughed meaning it or when she laugh it to be polite or when she laughed because of me witch was the one i loved i figure out her body like the palm of my hand and i figure out that she have a smilehole that she never realize i knew what the light make her eyes look like.. when you look to the sea the back of it when the light touch the water that was her eyes like when she smiled at me because i said that i loved her.. I dont know if she is smiling like that again or if her boyfriend know all of that I hope he do. Because writing all the good thinks about her is making me feel better is making that 2% gone. She is beautiful and very smart and is the kind of girl i always wanted to end with fun to be around and rly cute romantic and a girl that can adpat to your style of living she will change who she is for you but i never make her do that.. i liked that she always make herself in trouble that she get drunk and that she hang out with her friends and most of all i loved when she was in a brilliant mood with her family and always around them is what make me very happy because im like that. she was my other half and i knew it all along and i know she knew it too. Im glad we are not together not because i dont want to not because she i dont exist to her but she is with someone that at least she said that make her happy but if be happy is be a person you are not then I dont know if im happy at all because now all i know she is not anything of everything i said before. at least thats what i hear. And no is not only her sister that tell me or her cousin, i know more people that know her and how fun it can be they do talk to me(is funny because thats a problem we had) and i cant say the name of them, but we dont talk about her since she is not my fave subject but they mention her and how i know them from my trip there last summer. THAT is how small the world is. Me beging friends of the people that never liked me but im glad they trust me and im glad is one of those secret we will carry to death. Who they are is smth i will never tell and is the same way around and now is mooore since my sister is living in the same country that she is now. Crap this world is to small lol.. back to subject.
She is commited to her boyfriend thats good but she is forgeting that relationships at her age never end up good and she should remember aswell that her boyfriend want more be famous doing what he loves with is football and look how the same he and me was in past because i could be famous doing what i love witch was skating but i quite it because of my current girlfriend years ago to be with HER. would he be able to quite everything he ever wanted to be with she now? I dont think so because what i hear is that he is very selfish want my ex all for him no carring if she have problems at home but look if he make it and i hope he does he wont be able to be at the same place where she is he will have to move on and he is 19yrs old what do you think a 19yrs old getting famous would do? Maybe not getting drunk because he need good health but going out having sex with the ladys since he is away.

Smart huh? Well i want to know how that ends because i KNOW im sure as i know that im good in what i do that she will try to talk to me NOT because she wants me back but because she knew i was her friend. But I hope he chose her and i hope they be together much more and i hope they are both happy always i wish them all the best from the bottom of my heart.. honest explorer.

Wow that actually felt very good tho i feel 100%happy now and i feel that i did smth good i think the doc was good at the end.. she said write to her, talk to her or call her see her do anything you can so u can explain how u rly feel and i just did. i know she would NEVER read this. but at least i know that i did it and im feeling fantastic about it.

Goodbye ex lover.

Load the car and write the note
Grab your bag and grab your coat
Tell the ones that need to know
We are headed north

One foot in and one foot back
But it don't pay, to live like that
So i cut the ties and i jumped the tracks
For never to return

Ah Brooklyn Brooklyn take me in
Are you aware the shape I'm in
My hands they shake my head it spins
Ah Brooklyn Brooklyn take me in

When at first I learned to speak
I used all my words to fight
With him and her and you and me
Oh but its just a waste of time
Yeah its such a waste of time

That woman shes got eyes that shine
Like a pair of stolen polished dimes
She asked to dance I said it's fine
I'll see you in the morning time

Ah Brooklyn Brooklyn take me in
Are you aware the shape im in
My hands they shake my head it spins
Ah Brooklyn Brooklyn take me in

Three words that became hard to say
I and love and you
What you were then, I am today
Look at the things I do

Ah Brooklyn Brooklyn take me in
Are you aware the shape I'm in
My hands they shake my head it spins
Ah Brooklyn Brooklyn take me in

Dumbed down and numbed by time and age
Your dreams to catch the world, the cage
The highway sets the travelers stage
All exits look the same

Three words that became hard to say
I and love and you
I and love and you
I and love and you

=)

When at first I learned to speak
I used all my words to fight
With him and her and you and me
Oh but its just a waste of time
Yeah its such a waste of time

Daniel Tognetti
Oct 29/2009
Today Im over you.

First of all i woke up sick went to boring classes and im getting a bloody cold!! witch u will notice at the end of this blog.
I cant believe how my karma went bad.. just like that!
I dont know why i have to do it i was good THANK YOU FUCKING DREAMS!
lets start because this will get confusing right?
I was taking my nap.. and i had this funny dream with new moon (my girlfriend was reading me new moon but i fall asleep) and it was great i was the vampire not edward just a random vampire and my ex showed up in my dream =S it scare me the shit outta of me!! and she was getting killed or smth i dont know but i got really worry.. so i woke up in a really bad mood.. and then i said well lets see how is she doing.. and i open her blog. been a long fucking while till i do that like 7months or so, and there she was.. the topic of her today blog was the song that make me think the MOST of her. Breakeven by the script. i dont understand why on the bloody hell she will put that song there! is fucking destiny getting on my balls? why the day i open her blog for first time in a long time i see that are you fucking with me? serious? and now im just fucked up i got sad and depressed im feeling emo.
And well im playing that song on my guitar..but it rly puts me in a bad mood i dont play that song at all is painful just to listen to it.

so gonna sing it and gona post it here... is the first time i sing that song after a long time.. and is just depressing. the pieces part is quite hard *.*
XD

breakeven by the script

...
i'm still alive, but i'm barely breathing...what am i suppose to do , when the best part of me was always you

Today I remember that i forget to write here. So im doing it now plus i need to take many emotions out and this is for me at least now the better way. Normally I will use my girlfriend witch is my best friend or my best friend but i dont know how to express myself now with talking so im gonna do it writing. Lets see how this ends.

For this i need to give my music status sometimes music express in a better way your feelings.. in my caise it always those. Book from boxes by Maximo Park. Im listening to it all over again and again and again nonstop.

Im a person that have many things going on, Im in a relationship and I love to be in one and I love with the person I am, but i cant help myself for liking other persons and be a flirty son of my mother! and i dont like it.. i hate it. Because I know im doing smth rly bad but i cant help it is who i am and i been like that all along. I think players will never stop playing around right? i meam im not a player that go for one night stands or stuff like that.. no i dont cheat.. neither kiss the girls i like i just like to flirt with them.. be a flirter is not a bad thing right? well is confusing because after i know the girl im flirting with she is so interesting and get my attetion and when a girl do that make me want smth more because im a curious person and i like to know what go on in any girl mind and that make me want to be with her and is depressing because all along i know i will hurt someone or even worst hurt myself. Yesterday i kind of end my flirty time with one of those girls.. i wrote above about her, i RLY like her she is rly interesting and we have many things alike and no is not typical things such as music or film but things that rly matter like family and health and the way she act so careless make me want her more because i want her to care about me and i know she do but i like when it gets showed.. i love the video she made for my birthday =) puts me in a good mood when im down like now before i start this i saw it. She is a really nice person and i been complet honest with her she knows i have a gf and what i do for living and she dnt care but the flirting game we start playing become smth more than flirting and well she didnt start liking the idea of it and to be honest neither did i, i like to talk to her as much as i love to be with my girlfriend. sucks uh. but well im glad she made a desition and we stop it before it get to harsh we are friends or at least trying to be of course we wont talk as before but thats ok too. Im used to lose people this days.
On the other hand i been thinking a lot of this i wish i had done in the past and didnt, but is ok too now i go around reading things and that make me change my mind like a girl change of pants. is interesting really it had only been one girl that rly changed all for me and i always think shits of her now i actually dont know if she is still alive or not if dnt wasent for her sister and im glad i dont know about her yes i wrote about it above aswell i think not remember i try to have most of my blogs (i had some before..still open just dont write in them more) without her but is not working i dont get why. Probably because a person once told me always is going to be one that is not 100% over in a relationship im stuck with the 98& ove and 2% that dont want to move on. that 2% rly knows how to fuck me. I hate when i make her listen to music i love and now when i listen to them turns me in a rly fucked up mood and stop liking it or at least stop trying to listen them. But thats life right? is nothing you can take back no matter what.
Apart of that well i got other girls that like me but thats just quite funny =) and i love to hang with them like the girl that sit next to me in classes.. she is gorgeous blonde blue eyes perfect smile rly funny and know how to make me laugh and not be bored and she already try to kiss me lol but i moved apart i know im good and told her how r the things and that she rather be away of me because im not a good person to be around at least as someone to be with. Totally true. We agree just to be friends and enjoy the time and we do =) she sits next to me in all classes at the back and we just sing in silence talk talk talk talk or i actually listen listen listen and smile smile smile because i like to hear whats in most of the girls minds.. yes im that curious. And most of my friends are female.. i get along better with girls.. yes that how much i like girls.. buuut with my few male friends i love to hang out with just that most of them r in different citys or states or countrys! but the few i have here is a blast to have beer and a rly manly dirty chat.

Friends are good some really never will change and is sad rly sad. I had a few i would give my life for but now i dont care.. or i do but not as much as before im not the kind of person that turns the back on others is not the person i am no matter how bad they hurted me i will always be there for them but they dont and sucks. Some start dating and forget they have a life apart of the romance.. be sure that when u get dumped by not be alone in the world without friends thanks to forgetting about them for be hanging out just with your lover.. i already lived that and lost a lot of them.. or be sure u dont lose friends because ure too busy to pay attetion to others because no matter how busy i been im still around and im a kind of person that have a rly interesting life and always can find smth to do, i got the money the friends and time to do it to go where i want and have a good time but i dont care to much about me im just stuck caring for friends.
And for last but not least the worst thing you can do to a friend is lie to them.. are those little lies we actually dont care about right? but are those BIG lies that are rly painfull and yes i can forgive but i dont forget.. remember i always been good with my memory and mostly remember things about you and karma is a bitch when you turn the back on someone the person u love the most now will turn it back later and you will come back to the one that loved you but it would be to late. And i still think is to late but i feel the need to help.

Tomorrow I will be going to the hospital of kids with problems.. And later today im going to the toy store to spend my work money on gifts for those kids. No i dont do it because of getting good karma or because im sorry about them, i do it because thats who just i am a person that put first other feelings than my own. And KIDS r one of the persons i can give my soul helping so my bro,twins cousins, cousin, girlfriend, 4friends and me are going tomorrow we collect 2000$ around 1000pounds in cash and later today gonna spend it in gifts and we gonna give our old rock bands, guitar heros, play station, xbox so on (not that r ruined but we dont use them.. because we got some news) so they can put them in the game room at the hospital.

So yes i feel much better now i take alot of crap out feels good. just one last thing.

IS UP TO YOU TO CHANGE THIS WORLD. YOUR PROBLEMS WILL BE ALWAYS SMALL BECAUSE OTHER PEOPLE HAVE BIG ONES, BOYFRIEND DRAMA GIRLFRIEND DRAMA GIRLS&BOYS DRAMA FRIRENDS DRAMA SCHOOL DRAMA WORK DRAMA IS FUCK SHIT BE SURE PEOPLE IS DYING PEOPLE IS GETTING KILLED WHILE YOU CRY BECAUSE YOU GOT DUMPED OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT OTHER PEOPLE IS CRYING BECAUSE HER FAMILY GOT KILLED IN A WAR OR SOMEONE TAKE OUT THEY LIFE.
LETS CHANGE THIS WORLD FOR A BETTER PLACE WE ONLY HAVE ONE AND IM NOT READY TO GIVE UP ON IT LETS BEATCANCER LETS FIND THE CURE FOR IHDS AND LETS GIVE AT LEAST A POUND FOR A CHARITY IT WILL HELP NOT ONLY OTHERS BUT YOURSELF FOR DOING SOMETHING GOOD.

PEACE OUT!

Apologize again.
Im bad at this i lost it.. the magic of just feeling how your fingers move across the keyboard with eyes close and just trasmiting the exact words that come from your mind and heart.. i lost it.. and it sucks
Im a bad blogger i dont always have smth good to say or some good words to write about.. and i dont want to use this as a diary anyway because my life can be fucked up to many is not boring trust me.. like today i bought a dancing santa and i lost my girlfriend in the mall just after i end up dancing with santa.. or like my twin cousins of 20yrs old single both messed up with two girls changing themselfs because they like the oposite ones or like my brother talk about all the drama he have thanks to his ex.. or even better not making sure if im the one that HAD to keep the memory of an ex is like a friend told me today: is always like that one will always be never ready to move on.. because you cant delet from your life the person you loved is not possible. So if is not possible why still people doing it? or they never do? I never do.. is only be 5 persons (Girls) i honest loved.. one of them is my current girlfriend and first girlfriend (we know each other for 8 yrs and she was my high school lover and current gf) my best friend (know her for 22yrs or even moore family are friends.. she is the girl next door literally and still be.. i date her and now is my best friend always been was kind of strange) and 3 other girls norwegians, two with the same name and one i still have contact with again.. since today and i love it she is a great friend and im glad.. the other two.. well the first i say hi once in a while.. the last one is the problem.. i think i loved her more that i was suppose and the fact of looking at her around 2 weeks ago didnt made things more easy. Im NOT in love with her.. or even worst I dont find her atractive like before.. I just know that for some strange reason she can turn my mood down without she even talking to me.. just but the fact i can read smth about her, or her name or anything! normally she dont make my mood good she only makes it BAD for like 5min and then i forget but are 5mins of hell i think hell is gonna be more fun than that!
I used to be bitter to her and her current bf but that was in the past over 7months now or more. now i dont care if she have her heart broken or anything i dont mind i just know he is not right to her.. neither me of course.. but he is rly not good to her.. not because im jealous or anything but im not the only one that think so her family her twin sister and friends i dont care because he is actually like me.. pretty much alike to be honest.. brown hair brown eyes like sports tattoos rings bad guy becoming good a player that stop playing she found me in him.. and i didnt say it.. she did or she told me 8months ago.. but i didnt found her because none is like her and im glad i dont wanna date her again and even worst if she is becoming like she is not and that make me think if he is like me.. in personality too.. means she would become the bitch she is now anyway? then im glad we are not together anymore.. because i hate the person she is now. and i think thats why my mood go down or im not sure and yeah i dont mind anyway this is so confusing and im starting to feel like a girl talking now..
SO LADYS OUT THERE.. some advice here? thank you!

Well I actually didn't knew I was able to do this till I was writing a note in my blackberry so I could send it to my email and post it later here.. So I thinked: could I just blog it from my mobile? Well I'm trying it now so if it get published it worked if don't well u won't know about this lol..

Dk

For first time.. i dont have to much to say here. I been working, study and in the real world. witch sometimes can be better. so now.. im kind of bored and gonna do this if u feel like.. just copy it.

Pick only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to people you like and include me. You can't use the band/artist I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think! Repost as "My life according to (artist).

Normally I would chose the Rolling Stones (fave band) but now i wanna be different soo..

Pick your artist:
Dashboard Confessional

Are you a male or female:
Jamie

Describe yourself:
Matters Of Blood And Connection

How do you feel?
Fever Dreams

Describe where you currently live:
Dusk & Summer

If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Where There's Gold..

Your favorite form of transportation:
Stolen

Your best friends are:
I Light My Own Fires Now

You and your best friends are:
As Lovers Go

What's the weather like?
So Beautiful

Favorite time of day:
Morning Calls

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called?
The Best Deceptions

What is life to you?
Standard Lines

Your relationship:
Slow Decay

Your fear:
Keep Watch For The Mines

What is the best advice you have to give?
Remember To Breathe

Thought for the day:
Reason To Believe

How I would like to die:
The Secret's In The Telling

My soul's present condition:
The Good Fight

My motto:

Tonight I'll Take What I Can Get

Well last week.. yes over a week. I saw my ex. I didnt knew anything about her for over 7 months till last week. Last week I saw her face again.. and she is a different person. Changed hair and her smile is not the same. Last week I felt sick I didnt knew it was real till I saw her face looking up to me. Knowing she was feeling the same at me just but the way her eyes looked too me.

I have fer face in my mind once in a while since last week. I didnt even remember how she looked till I saw her again. And I wish we could be friend sometimes I wish she is all ok.. but mostly of the time I wish she is in pain.. Is that a shame? Because she hurt me badly and I probably make her wait to long.. But that dont give her an excuse to be so heartless.

BUT.. this is not actually about her. I just tho to take it out of my head better out that in some people say.

This is to someone different.. Someone that is making me confuse now. I think mostly of the time im mostly a solo person.

Often you remind me of someone
imagine your smile without fear
invaded by the lack,
I delay the impatience
I really want to know you but you dont want to

It is all your life and yet
I do not know a single detail about you
The phone is very cold
and your calls are very short
I wonder pleasee if one day I will see you,

Give me an appointment go to the park
come into my life
unannounced
The door opens and closes your eyes
going to see us little by little
Give me your hand feels the mine
as two blind little girl, little girl, little girl.. yeah

Often you remind me of m
I first thought
it was wrong,
the second time I didnt knew what to say
I was afraid of the others,
many madmans that are walking lost
now I know I could not live without you,
please

give me an appointment go to the park
come into my life unannounced
The door opens and closes eyes
going to see us little by little
Give me your hand feels the mine
as two blind little girl

You often remind me of me..